Welcome Home, Elder & Sister
Returned Missionary Guide
You Did Something Extraordinary
Serving a mission is one of the most transformative experiences of your life. You've grown spiritually, learned to work hard, faced rejection, and developed Christlike love for strangers.
The transition home can be challenging - that's normal. This guide will help you navigate academics, dating, emotional health, and the practical side of starting fresh at BYU-Idaho.
The RM Adjustment Timeline
Understanding what to expect helps you navigate the transition. Most RMs follow a similar pattern.
The Honeymoon Phase
Everything feels exciting. You're reuniting with family, eating your favorite foods, and enjoying newfound freedom.
- ✓Enjoy reconnecting with loved ones
- ✓Give yourself permission to rest
- ✓Start thinking about your next steps
The Difficult Transition
The hardest period for most RMs. The novelty wears off, and you may feel lost, purposeless, or spiritually flat.
- ✓This is normal - don't panic
- ✓Maintain mission habits (scripture study, prayer)
- ✓Stay busy with meaningful activities
- ✓Talk to other RMs about how they adjusted
Finding Your Rhythm
You begin to establish new routines and find purpose in your new life. School, work, and social life start clicking.
- ✓Set new goals to replace mission goals
- ✓Build on what you learned
- ✓Be patient - full adjustment takes 6-12 months
The Reality Check
Full adjustment typically takes 6-12 months. Be patient with yourself. The intense spiritual experiences of your mission may not repeat exactly, but they prepared you for a different kind of growth. Your mission isn't over - it's just taking a new form.
Getting Back Into Study Mode
Your brain has been wired for teaching, not test-taking. Here's how to readjust.
Start with 12-14 credits
Don't overload your first semester back. Your brain needs time to readjust to studying.
Take a religion class
Helps maintain spiritual momentum and connects you with other RMs.
Use your language skills
Consider a language minor, tutoring, or translation work if you learned a language.
Meet with your advisor early
Get a clear path to graduation. Many RMs change majors - that's okay.
Attend office hours
Build relationships with professors. Your mission maturity is an asset.
Form study groups
Recreates the companionship structure you're used to.
Common Academic Challenges
Difficulty concentrating
Solution: Use the Pomodoro technique (25 min focus, 5 min break). Your attention span will rebuild.
Forgetting how to study
Solution: Visit the Academic Support Center for study skills workshops. No shame in relearning.
Feeling behind peers
Solution: You're not behind - you gained invaluable real-world experience. Many employers prefer RM candidates.
Math/science rustiness
Solution: Take prerequisite courses or use Khan Academy to refresh before jumping into advanced classes.
12-14
Recommended Credits
Free
Academic Support Center
6-12 mo
Full Academic Readjustment
Dating After Your Mission
Yes, there's pressure to date and marry. Here's a healthy perspective.
Myths vs. Reality
You need to get married immediately
There's no rush. Focus on becoming the person you want to be. Quality relationships take time.
Everyone is dating seriously
Many students are casually dating. Group dates and casual hangouts are normal and healthy.
You're behind if you're not dating
Some of the best relationships start when you're not actively looking. Focus on friendships first.
Dating is different than the mission
Actually, the same principles apply: be genuine, serve others, and focus on building Christlike attributes.
Healthy Dating Tips
- •Focus on making friends first - romantic relationships often grow from friendships
- •Go on lots of casual dates with different people - there's no pressure to be exclusive
- •Keep dates simple and inexpensive - creativity matters more than money
- •Be patient with yourself - dating can feel awkward after 18-24 months of not dating
- •Don't compare your timeline to others - everyone's path is different
- •Remember: dating should be fun, not stressful
Managing Marriage Pressure
- ✓Set your own timeline - not your parents', not your ward's
- ✓Focus on becoming, not just finding
- ✓Quick engagements aren't better - healthy is better
- ✓You can say "I don't know yet" to well-meaning questions
- ✓Your worth isn't tied to your relationship status
Emotional & Spiritual Health
The mission high doesn't last forever. Here's how to stay spiritually grounded.
Common Emotional Challenges
Loss of purpose
On your mission, every day had clear meaning. Now life can feel aimless.
What helps: Set new goals. Serve in your ward calling. Find ways to keep sharing the gospel.
Missing your mission
Longing for your mission area, companions, and the spiritual highs.
What helps: Stay in touch with converts and companions. Use what you learned to bless others here.
Spiritual flatness
Feeling like you can't recapture the spiritual intensity of your mission.
What helps: Spiritual experiences come in different forms now. Serve others and study deeply.
Identity confusion
Who are you when you're not "Elder" or "Sister"?
What helps: You're the same person with the same testimony. Your mission shaped you - it doesn't define you.
Anxiety or depression
Major life transitions can trigger mental health challenges.
What helps: Seek professional help if symptoms persist. The Counseling Center is free and confidential.
Maintaining Spiritual Momentum
Personal scripture study
Keep the same time slot you had on your mission
Meaningful prayer
Pray with purpose, not just routine
Temple attendance
Make it a regular habit - Rexburg Temple is convenient
Ward involvement
Accept callings and attend activities
Gospel conversations
Share your testimony in natural ways - you don't need a name tag
When to Seek Professional Help
It's okay - and wise - to get help. Consider reaching out if you experience:
- •Persistent sadness or hopelessness (2+ weeks)
- •Inability to concentrate or complete tasks
- •Significant changes in sleep or appetite
- •Withdrawal from friends and activities
- •Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- •Overwhelming anxiety or panic attacks
Counseling Center (free for students): (208) 496-9370
Practical Considerations
The nuts and bolts of starting life as a student after your mission.
Financial
- Open a bank account if needed
- Create a monthly budget
- Apply for scholarships and financial aid
- Consider part-time work (10-15 hrs/week)
Housing
- Look for RM-friendly apartments (quieter, more focused)
- Consider single-gender housing initially
- Choose roommates carefully
- Be prepared for housing costs
Employment
- On-campus jobs work well with class schedules
- Your mission skills (teaching, communication) are valuable
- Consider tutoring in your mission language
- Part-time work helps with transition
Health
- Schedule any needed medical/dental appointments
- Get back into regular exercise
- Maintain healthy sleep schedule
- Don't neglect mental health
Post-Mission Budget Reality
Many RMs come home with minimal savings. Here's a realistic monthly budget:
$250-400
Rent
$150-250
Food
$50-100
Transportation
$50-100
Personal/Dates
Counseling & Support Resources
BYU-Idaho Counseling Center
(208) 496-9370
Free, confidential counseling for students. They understand RM transitions.
Student Health Center
(208) 496-9330
Medical services including mental health referrals.
LDS Family Services
(208) 356-6049
Additional counseling options through the Church.
Bishop/Branch President
Contact your ward
Spiritual support and resources for temporal needs.
Remember: You're Not Alone
Thousands of RMs go through this transition every year. The challenges you're facing are normal. The skills you developed - resilience, faith, hard work, compassion - will serve you well.
Your mission prepared you for more than you realize. Trust the process, be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it.